I'm aware no one will read this. That's okay, though --
I enjoy talking to walls, usually about myself.
The walls in my apartment have slowly lost all their colours.
Stole this bitchin' boring meme from Syethain
1. What is your name?
Psy Peng. Don't ask me where that name comes from because I would love to tell you.
2. Have you ever been kissed?
Family can't seem to stop getting their lips on everyones cheeks.
3. What is your favourite movie?
Ask me today, I'll tell you one title. Ask me tomorrow and I'll give you another one.
Ask me on Friday and I'll tell you I have none because I did not watch any movies that day.
4. What is your ringtone?
I don't know, nobody calls me.
5. Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Bros. And bitches.
The bitches all left because they don't like being called bitches.
The bros all left because they don't want to be considered one of my bros.
6. What is on your mousemat?
Explain me this alien concept. You provide your mice with mats? Are you aware they will simply destroy it, then leave half of it untouched just to show you that they can?
7. What is your favourite colour pen to write with?
8. What shampoo do you use?
I sit upside down on the toilet.
9. What is your favourite colour?
See question number 7.
10. How many children do you want?
This would require cooperation of a female.
11. Do you collect anything?
I'm going to be honest here.
12. What is your favourite word?
13. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I do believe a certain amount of good looks can elicit a good mood and a level of attraction.
However, love in this situation is also easily confused with a wish to claim the eyecandy for oneself.
It may also be the common misconception that a good looking partner automatically implies a good sexual partner.
14. What is your idea of a perfect date?
Spend the day exploring a festive, lively city where all senses are pleased for each individual person.
Discuss experiences and impressions in comfortable restaurant over tasty food.
Do some sports together until late.
When night falls, go home to large sofa / couch and watch movies / play videogames together.
Fall asleep in couch. Wake up next morning and realize you would love doing this for the rest of your life.
15. What is your favourite book?
16. Who is your favourite actor or actress?
You mean they aren't real?!
17. What is the best feeling in the world?
The person I stole this from said: 'Sunlight on your skin'.
18. Do you take hot or cold showers?
It's a relative concept.
19. If you could meet anyone, who would it be?
20. What is your favourite band or singer?
I think I need to go to the city and get more singing classes.
21. What are you listening to right now?
22. Do you believe in God?
23. When is your birthday?
When a daddy and a mommy love each other very much...
24. How tall are you?
9/11 was almost about me, but then people wouldn't care if I went missing.
25. What is your favourite television show?
A few of them are in this list:
26. Have you ever had sex?
Some time in my life I will join this club:
27. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Ask me later. Saying it's Japan makes me sound like a... what's the word... weeaboo?
28. Do you have braces?
BRACE YOURSELF BECAUSE HERE COMES THE PSY
29. Do you like roller coasters?
HE COMES CRASHING DOWN FROM THE LOOP
30. What is your favourite season?
THE LOOP THAT PASSESS ALL THE SEASONS
31. What is your favourite time of day?
IN ONE DAY
32. What household chore do you most despise?
AND HE CRASHED RIGHT INTO oh god it's the toilet.
33. What is your favourite cartoon?
God,. I don't know. They're all kinda weird: youtu.be/UNAr5tzZxdk
34. What is on your bedroom walls?
Many things, but I can't read them. The ghosts don't seem to know English.
35. What's your favourite ice cream flavour?
36. If you had a time machine, where would you go?
Don't... don't get me started about my theories on time travel. You will be bored out of your mind, and unable to stop me talking.
37. What do you want to be when you're older?
Gosh, I'm already too old.
38. What colour are your eyes?
Can't check, the mirrors broke.
39. Who is the person you talk to the most on the the phone?
Wait, you mean it can...?
40. If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be?
Black, with darkish blue highlights.
41. Do you have any nicknames?
"Psy", "The Psy", "you god damn fucking idiot why can't you understand this"
42. What does your dream guy/girl look like?
Guy: should look like a girl
Girl: should look like a gu... girly guy?
43. Are you good in maths?
In math, no one can hear you scream.
44. Do you have freckles?
If I do, I don't think it has anything to do with being a virgin.
45. Who are your best friends?
<Psy has hidden this list from the public>
46. What is your favourite kind of flower?
Anything that eats flesh. It's cool to have something in your house you're afraid to touch (but does not actually pose any health risk)
47. What is your favourite shop?
Seriously? I mean, you actually have to ask me? How long have you known me?
48. What is the most daring thing you've ever done?
I was born. Hello, world! My, aren't you scary!
49. Is there anyone who you really hate?
I'm sure there is, but I haven't met them yet.
50. Do you and your parents fight a lot?
... they're my parents. The kid that doesn't fight with them has a few screws loose.
Of course, I have several screws loose.
51. What is your favourite sweet? (or candy for the yanks)
Helps build up the image of being completely gender confused.
I was told girls love chocolate.
52. What is your favourite kind of music?
What's your favourite band? No, no, the other one. Yeah, that one. I hate it.
53. What was the last movie you saw in the cinema?
Noisy Kids with Cell Phones: Director's Cut
54. Are you getting sick of these questions yet?
Why are you reading this?
Yes, I'm answering them because I love talking about myself, and I think my stupid little joks are funny.
But seriously, you're actually reading this?
Get some help.
55. Have you ever been to the ocean?
I live near one.
END OF SPOILER
56. Do you have any body piercings?
I fell on a pitchfork once.
57. What is your favourite restaurant?
That one place with the food.
58. What web browser do you use?
Seriously, Sye? Internet Explorer? How could you?
59. What are you scared of?
Why do you need to know? Are you collecting my personal data? Fat chance, buddy! I won't tell you I'm afraid of identity theft! Hah! Good luck figuring that out.
60. Who do you like talking to the most on the internet?
There's this one girl...
... but my credit card maxed out.
61. What schools do/did you go to?
Check my Facebook.
(oh wait, don't have one)
62. Do you have any pets?
If it smells horrible, can move independently and has a mind on its own, does it qualify as a pet?
63. Which is better, pie or cake?
I agree with GlaDOS.
64. Are you a good French kisser?
I was in France once, but the girl thought I was asking for cigarettes.
66. What is your favourite colour to wear?
Fun stuff when people tell you you're naked and you spend half an hour telling them you're not because listen you stupid idiot, I can FEEL and TOUCH the clothes they're right THERE.
67. What is your favourite animal?
Anything that does not develop under the kitchen sink, like my current 'pet' does.
68. What is your favourite alcoholic drink?
What makes you think I need alcohol to appear drunk?
69. What sports do you like?
Usually the right hand, but then if you try the left one every now and then, it feels like a whole new experience again. I can shoot sparklieees!
70. What is your favourite outfit?
It grows on trees.
71. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Look, it's not a weakness. If you want to find someone else who keeps stuffed animals, you don't have to ask it like this, it's kinda strange. Just be honest. Tell the world "I can't sleep without a plusy and I'm not afraid to tell the world!". I'm sure you'll be surprised at how many people will accept this, maybe even think it's cute. You don't have to be afraid of it.
72. What is your favourite card game?
Is it strange that I thought of stuff like Yu-Gi-Oh before thinking about Patience?
73. Do you ****ing swear?
Like fucking hell I god damn do. My father would kick the living asshole shit out of me if he fucking knew.
74. Have you ever had surgery?
One day, I just woke up with a scar. If I had the guts to ask the doctor to count my kidneys, I would. But hey, it's surgery, maybe they took the guts out!
75. What is your favourite beverage?
What the hell kind of word is 'beverage'?
76. Do you want to get married?
Only to someone's who is named Wallet.
If I get robbed, I can yell "You can have my wallet, but you will never TOUCH MY WALLET"!
Then the robber will get a headache from how terrible that joke was and leave me alone with my wallet.
77. What is your most embarrassing moment?
Hi! I love you!
78. What is your zodiac sign?
Virgo. Regardless of what your calendar says.
79. Where do you think is the most boring place in the world?
Queues. You have to wait, but you CAN'T grab a book / game.
80. Have you ever smoked?
When you ever have a roommate who loves spicy food as well as cooking, and you think of asking him to give you his worst... don't do it.
81. What do you look for in a member of the opposite gender?
I imagine that in said member, they'll have organs like any other human. Except they also have that child charging and developing station.
82. What song do you wish the radio would play more often?
Wait, wait. You're still using the radio for streaming unencapsulated audio?
83. Are you getting bored of these questions now?
Excuse me, do you know where I would be able to purchase a life?
86. Who do people say you look like?
Imagine all the people
87. What is your favourite month of the year?
88. Do you prefer to communicate face-to-face, by email or by phone?
Face to face sounds like fun. Just have to take my glassess off as they could break with the impact.
89. How many words per minute can you type?
And they call me OCD for counting the tiles in my bathroom.
(before you ask, sixty-four)
90. What is one thing you would change about the way you act?
Hey, an overly long list of boring questions, the ansers to which no one cares about! Let's spend the entire evening filling it with stupid jokes which would be appreciated by anyone even if they would read it! Sounds like FUN!
91. What is one thing you would change about your looks?
Bigger boobs, get rid of the dick.
92. How long is your hair?
Okay, listen. I know your job is cutting hair and all that. I understand and I realize many people would like a good cut. But all you have to do for me is thin it out and tidy it up a bit. I want long hair. VERY long hair. Long enough that I need to hire an entire Chinese factory to get it groomed in the morning. So, please, for once, don't make it short.
93. What is the worst feeling in the world?
Spending your entire life on being a better pyromaniac, and then being told you need to see things from a different perspective.
94. Do you have allergies?
My only allergy is to girls who love me for everything that I am.
We never found a way to prove it.
95. What are some of your bad habits?
Did you notice that there's no number 85 in this list?
did you check?
96. What is one of your pet peeves?
Who the hell names his pet 'Peeves'?
97. Do you have a website?
Why hello there, Apache test page!
98. What kind of car do you drive?
Let's go to a hteme park and find out!
99. How do you entertain yourself when you have nothing to do?
I wonder how far into my nose I can push my fi... oh god I just touched my brain.
100. If you would add one question to this list, what would you add (and how would you answer it)?
The one that I deleted to make a joke work:
85. Do you write letters?
What's this 'write' you speak of? Is it an alternative method to use the keyboard?